The past few months have seen me still in the rural U.S., still underemployed and seeking work, and still with poor logistics for meeting girls ever since my family got involved in my love life. Red Quest has recommended I get a temporary job working in a coffeeshop or restaurant or similar, which I’ve done, but the pay isn’t sufficient for a long-term solution.
There’s a deadline coming up for me within the next few months to change my situation, so I’m not allowing myself to fall stagnant in this current situation. I even took nearly a full month’s break from dating apps and toned down my social media use—it feels too pathetic to count as a win, but compared to past me, it’s another step in the right direction.
As RedQuest reminded me,
Tim [Ferris] says he becomes a slower, duller thinker when he doesn’t write. You probably do, too.
https://twitter.com/david_perell/status/1740017036267266456
Four different new girl stories from NightRoller’s life journal: Two are hot. Two involve relationships. Two are BPD (uh-oh). Two involve blowjobs. All involve sex, the typical minimum barrier I have for recording them in my mind as “significant” without a strong abnormal occurrence, anymore—too many girls are in my phone in the “PHONE ZONE” or Texting Purgatory, where they’d love to think they’re special, but more often than not, it’s them dropping off on me‚ though I’m not the best at sending engaging texts either.
Herein lies one new girl story, plus bonus recurring revenue from past investment.
Super-Attached Movies Girl
This girl I met on a coffee date after matching online with high interest from her end and we immediately hit it off. I posted an initial mention of it on Twitter:
1 was super on from first text: opened me on Tinder with “Hey cutie”, downhill from there. Nice dress, fun personality, +1 in parking lot. Subtracted a point once the dress came off—overweight but doesn’t look it. Lower end of what I’ll take as a regular. Liked her.
A Recent Twitter Post
As she was the only +1 in a while and only girl I could convert to a regular, I was willing to give a bit more effort into this one, gain experience seeing girls multiple times, and so on. But she had a weird thing about not having sex in her room at her house, which resulted in some weird situations when roommates popped through the area she defaulted our activities to. The ironic bit is how she wasn’t comfortable being an exhibitionist around her roommates despite her choice of setting.
For the first couple dates it felt very easy to communicate with her, but later it became more one-way as she prattled on and on about dumb movie stuff and I couldn’t think of good topics to steer the conversation. She had a high desire to dump her daily life trauma, exaggerated like it was the best or worst thing in the world, expressed over text or in person. She had very little drive to ask me questions or learn about me. By the end, from my perspective, she still seemed to know very little about me besides my habits. I was fetishized as the attractive man of her dreams.
I noted in private, “My only current plate is quite overweight and seems to have no drive to change that and a high desire to gossip about all sorts of dumb menial work and movie related things, sending 3-12 texts a day to my 0-3. I tire of it but don’t want to let her go because of the neediness that’ll set in after a few weeks.” Her low attractiveness took a lot of the enjoyment out of sex, once we were seeing each other regularly (she really did look beautiful when I first picked her up and took her for coffee—how easy a horny man can trick himself). I used the chances we had to stave off my insecurity and give her and I more BDSM experience, plus giving her addictively good-enough sex besides.
I felt the objectification even more acutely when she got upset about me wanting to leave and totally ignoring how I felt about wanting to leave when I finally did so, cutting dating apps, reducing my attempts to reignite faltering text leads, and cutting this girl out in the process. She was far too attached (even getting me gifts and things) when I was seeing her as barely more than a f*ckbuddy, and had apparently built what we were into enough hope that she wasn’t able to see reality.
She was so superinvested, even when I went through the process of giving her a final goodbye date where she tried to convince me we could “work out”, convinced that it could work out anyway, that what we “had” was “perfect”. She even offered to have me live at her place to try and solve the logistics issue, a move I understood (would create more logistics problems than it solved and) would not last long-term when our “relationship” was so untested. I made the effort on that last date to challenge her thinking with some beneficial stoic philosophy, asking her to think about how our “relationship” ending could be a positive thing for me AND for her.
So invested was she that daily emotional paragraph texts 2-3 screenshots long arrived for about a week, and afterward she seemed to want to get bitter or resentful or blow up an argument to make it easier to demonize me in her mind. If you saw RedQuest’s recent post, this is the girl in question I was asking about.
She’s the kind of person who likes to think of people as her emotional wet wipes (“friends”) or as her enemies, and it seemed to frustrate her on some level that she couldn’t firmly stuff me into either box.
Halloween Month Highlight
I had the luck of an unexpected rebound of my “Seductress Girl” while visiting friends in my college town. Last I’d heard she had a boyfriend (I planned to just visit and chat with her platonically), but she revealed that had ended and she was now seeing a different guy and trying to see if he was the guy for her commitment needs. She’s adamant about wanting a committed monogamous partner and kids. I’m encouraging her to go after what she wants, and except for this magical instance, she’s mostly been consistent in her actions towards chasing that goal.
It was a little awkward when I showed up because she was tired from work that day and only gave amber lights about sex until she was moaning on her bed (I’d purposely kept her and myself in limbo about if sex would happen to avoid possible cold feet, which is kinda dumb in retrospect with returning girls like her—as a concept, it’s really used to avoid flakes for first-time meetings. Anyway, I didn’t want to push for sex if she wanted to keep committed to her partner at the time).
Some of the joy of the moment was sucked out by reminiscing about our previous times, comparing to this one, and expecting more from her (in eagerness, in dominance, etc.), but it escalated to a quite pleasant single round and massage for her and a reminder for me about how yes, she was hot, but no, she wasn’t a divine fluke of the past. Kinky girls like her may yet exist in my future.
We still follow each other on social media. She posted holiday pics of herself and her boyfriend last week. Good for her.
That’s all for now! The next bit will come when I get done editing it. All of the main ideas have been brain-dumped already, and it’s a doozy.
Keep on rolling, and write your own stories. I once again put off writing a post due to a (perceived) lack of content to write, which is dumb. That’s not a terrible thing except that I didn’t want to put it off this long once the content started to accumulate. Even when I think I don’t have much to say, all I have to do is wait, and more adventures and stories come along to entertain and give advice. And keeping these stories locked up for too long isn’t helping me either.
—NightRoller
NightRoller Game 