Typing this out half an hour before a date that just flaked due to “not feeling good” (a sorority girl, likely hungover on a Sunday morning).
A man can choose to live with game as a mere occasional hobby in his life. Maybe finding girls, seducing them, and bringing them home to show them his collection of “back massagers” is something he only does on weekends, or during a pre-determined part of his day that he dedicates to cold approaching.
But he might want more out of life. He might crave those kinds of spontaneous experiences that are memorialized in private journals and wet dreams and poorly-plotted high school romances, or feel he missed out on the “college experience”.
Game is a tool. It won’t solve every problem, just as a hammer isn’t going to help if all you have are screws, but it’s another useful skill in the toolbox.
In the past week, I had a couple experiences that I can recognize, without a doubt, I wouldn’t have been able to pull off just a year ago with the experience I had back then. (A year ago, I was still a virgin by this point, but as you can see from this blog I’d already gotten far enough into game to try cold approach.) Experiences that excite me, and fire me up to continue learning and practicing game, improving my logistics and confidence and ability to flirt, working out in the gym to build muscle, etc. RedQuest recommended I put it into a post, which I’ve been too “busy” (read: lazy, watching too much YouTube, unmotivated, etc.) to do until now.
This is living game as a lifestyle, and being open to possibility.
Hot Teacher from Dance Group
I’ve had a couple near misses from Swing Dance, but this one takes the cake and inspires me to keep learning Game:
A very cute mid-20’s teacher who’s been in the club for a while, who I learned just broke up with her BF ~a month ago, is friendly/bubbly to everyone and has super hips (and knows how to use them, at least in dance), and was seeming a bit extra friendly this past week.
I had asked her out before she broke up, and was hesitant to do so again because I misunderstood the timelines; I thought I’d asked her out when she’d already broken up, and was just using the old ex BF as an excuse. I’m not one to turn away potential signals though, so I used some extra touch during the dance lesson and verbal innuendos in conversation after the lesson (slipping in subjects like pulling hair, playing with blindfolds, light bdsm-adjacent stuff), and tested to see what happened if I announced I wanted to get water and left a group of guys crowding around her (I can tell she’s definitely popular in the club with the men, but so far few have actually made a move that I can tell. Most men are pussies, and I’d include myself in that category 50% of the time). She declared she would get water too and followed me. Bingo. Caught her before she rejoined the group, a bit of flirting and touch and letting her know it wasn’t just her imagination that she was hearing me drop hints about bdsm (she was gaslighting herself and saying “did I hear that right?” during the dance lesson and when in the group before). Let her know (uncalibratedly) that I liked her, and “cold-read” that she was into me (at this point, there were a lot of subtle signs, none of which I would have seen a year ago). Asked her out to coffee. She said she was very 50/50, because she doesn’t want a reputation for dating a lot of guys in the club or something. (This is completely understandable–for a decently cute/hot girl like her, it could be social suicide to let others know how kinky she is.) Still, “I’ll think about it” isn’t a particularly satisfying answer.
Then a friend showed up and had me join him and his GF to check out a cool hallway nearby that few people hang around despite the building itself being a high-traffic one, so after I returned from that trip, I invited this teacher who knows how to dress cute-yet-sexy to join me and check out some of the cool furniture and art up there.
Adventurously checking out a secluded stairwell -> stopping her on the way down -> saying she looked like she wanted to kiss me -> she gave a shit test about me not being good at kissing -> ” I’m 5 stars on Yelp” (adapted from a text for dating apps, by Playing with Fire) -> her initiating on me and giving me a kiss that had my lips and tongue tingling even after two hours. Fantastic, tongue-intertwining, finding our hips, hands roaming over each other, makeout.
That was up there, perhaps the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. She guessed I was a dom, I revealed I’m a switch, she admitted she’s a switch and a little bratty (cool, I like a little banter), I went back down to dance while she said she needed to sit by herself for a couple minutes (she seemed a little overwhelmed after our kiss).
One small test I failed is when I suggested we turn it into a wine date instead of coffee, she said I just want to get another seed sowed (or some weird analogy), then instead of saying the truthful yet tactful “I want to make out with you” and being strong in frame (or twisting it to teasing the opposite (“no, I’m a total virgin” or, “I gave up sex for Lent”), or that she was the one thinking of sex and not me), I went logical and talked about how I like intelligent girls who are actually firecrackers underneath. May have lost her there, but I was amazed I got to escalate that far.
Another spectacular reference experience, alongside ones like my threesome and the fun times with Seductress Girl. Have her number, might turn it into something short term. Spicy spicy. Not a lay report, but really tempted to write it down wrote it in this post because I know even a year ago I wouldn’t have been able to take this chance and “not fuck it up” well enough for this outcome.
Afterwards, she texted me that she felt I’d come on too strong and she wasn’t interested any more. I had felt like the date probably wouldn’t have been solid either way, but I’d found this girl attractive for several months and it was nice to hear from such an attractive girl that I myself was attractive to her.
Drunk Friend’s Kiss
A longtime female friend of mine (of ~2-3 years now), who has been in a 2.5 year relationship with a guy (her current fiancé) who doesn’t really engage with her sexually or get turned on by her, wanted to go out and get drunk on a certain night because she recently made out with a guy who’s similar to her fiancé “but better because he gets turned on by me”, and then a couple days ago went with him in a hotel and f*cked him, and wanted to vent off steam/let it out. (I’d warned her it was difficult to maintain long-distance relationships, and she was looking at a surprise extra year+ before she could be with her fiancé).
I’d considered this friend to be pretty smart overall (I still do, just less so in regards to dating/knowing what she wants), and maybe an exception to the rule of how girls usually want an attractive partner and may switch if they find a better one because she’d lasted with this one for so long, but…
Three 12oz 10% abv beers for her and 1 6% beer for me later, we walked home, and she was a lot more tipsy than I’d realized. It was kind of fun to have the opportunity to keep us both from toppling over. I’d never been around drunk people (at least that I knew) before, and I like having the chance to be the responsible one in a group. If I had to do it every night it’d get old, but it was a new experience for me.
She mentioned several times how insecure she was with her body and how she thought I was cute but how she shouldn’t think I was cute, because of her relationship and how I’m “weird” (she’s known me too long/too many phases of my growth), and how her fiancé was upset because she had kissed the other guy (she didn’t tell her fiancé that she’d actually had full sex with the guy).
She mentioned, as we were walking along, that she said she wished I wasn’t so cute so that she wouldn’t want to kiss me. The whole time I was laughing and playing around with sarcasm and stuff (great practice and great fun for me, banter and such, when she was tipsy enough to laugh and not have good comebacks), and so I responded “I don’t think you could kiss me” and “you’d have to initiate it, and I don’t think you could do that.”
She said “you want to bet” and as I was proudly saying “yeah” and thinking in my head “no, I’m not going to initiate on her, she could lose respect for me if I did, and I don’t think she has the guts/initiative to do it anyway” she pulled me in and made out with me. (She really likes to be right and prove her points, and she sure got to prove me wrong in this case.) On the rest of the walk home, she forgot she’d kissed me at least 3 different times (and had forgotten by the time I talked with her the following day). More drunk than I realized.
I didn’t expect playing into reverse psychology “I don’t think you’d be able to do that” would amount to anything. Never expected to kiss this friend. Tried a bit of reverse psychology when we got back to our hall when she was claiming she could seduce me in her room and we were both mentioning we had condoms, I could have gone into her room with her under the pretense of making sure she got in okay and probably ended up having sex in the end.
But I decided because she wasn’t inviting me in, and because we’re (at least nominally) friends, and she’d helped me along the journey to become confident and attractive and been a person to bounce my thoughts and game learning off of, I’d pushed my luck enough for the day.
The longer I observe her, the more random she gets. After her fiancé leaves this coming week (started visiting yesterday in fact), I’m going to be the only guy she thinks is cute (but also “weird”, she kept insisting while drunk, so I bet there’s some objections to how I date) on campus (or even close to our state), so there’s a chance that in this last month we could end up f*cking (Edit: that was ironic accidental foreshadowing), even though she (when sober) insists she’s not interested in me and that she didn’t think I was interested in her.
I also didn’t understand that lots of chicks will cheat and for that reason it’s fine to take shots at married chicks or women with boyfriends. If she is going to cheat, I want to let her cheat with me!
RedQuest
I’m about half and half on it, because she is cute, but has been a semi decent friend and a good listener the past couple years. But she was one of the last bastions that had me questioning the validity of game and whether it actually worked/was true for a time. Recently I’d begun to consider her an outlier. Now, I know she’s not an exception at all, just a late bloomer.
Right place, right time, right amount of teasing and staying grounded. If I didn’t live game as more of a lifestyle, I wouldn’t have set up the date for today, I wouldn’t have had either of these kisses, I wouldn’t have ended up dating the Japanese GF, and I wouldn’t be planning to travel the world this summer.
NightRoller Game 