LR +2: Japan, more strip-cards, and the “Relationship Trap”

As usual, this will be a bit of a jumble. I’ve attempted to organize it better this time, however.

Status

First, the small update: I’ve only had one approaching session while in Japan, so far. I can blame my internship, but mostly it’s my own fault… I’ve been playing Minecraft and staying inside when I could instead have taken the opportunity to get some exercise. I’ll be sure to ask advice on planning and executing more in the future. Doing good on hitting the gym at least 3x/week, not so good on the “getting lean”or diet despite knowing some great resources for it.

Love Report

The first thing of note in this, my third notch (first in Japan) is that it involves dating a coworker of mine, which is thin ice. If things go south before I leave Japan, it could become quite awkward.

The first date between Coworker girl and I involved walking after work through a park, giving her a “first kiss in a public park”, then after arriving at mine I attempted to use the card game I used before to introduce and transition to a more sexual vibe. Unfortunately, because of her mediocre English and my mediocre Japanese, she didn’t understand I meant for us to take clothes off, so I set the game aside and we made out. We did both take off our shirts as well, but she stopped me from removing more and left at a certain time to ensure she got home.

For our second date we went to hers and made out. I transitioned us to sex “one question at a time”, where I asked if she would remove a specific piece of clothing while I did the same. It feels very “beta”, but given what Andy on KYIL says, I’ll just say I don’t like the feeling that asking those questions puts me in. Next time, I’ll tell/command/encourage, and she can refuse if she wants to.

Coworker girl was tight inside (a first for me, it was great), cute, had nice butt and a slim stomach, and liked spanking—which I feel weird to do. She was also quite shy—a 恥ずかしい子—hiding her face many times and preferring the lights be low when she was down to her underwear. This time too, I again was the first of to release and enjoyed teasing her up to her orgasm consequently.

She said many times that it felt “too good” and tried to push my hand away, and just about each time, I hesitated (but hope not to in the future). I surprised her with my skill in my fingers, apparently, and she accused me of being a プレーボーイ (perhaps jokingly, I couldn’t tell). She really wants a long-term relationship, but the most I can perhaps promise is to be mostly hers in Japan, until I head back to America. Incredibly hot, intelligent, after we’d both come she tried to reciprocate my efforts to her by being on top and riding me, but I was spent and too limp.

For the future, I need to be clear soon that I am working on my confidence, and part of that is going to involve hitting on (and perhaps playing with) other girls, even if I focus all of my emotional energy and relationship things on her.

Finally, I noticed (and thought it strange) that during the workday, we pretty much just act like nothing happened, hardly mentioning it at all. Any innuendos on my part outside of online messaging aren’t acknowledged nor reciprocated, though if I continue to see her anyway I think this distance in public is bearable.

For the second, I’m too tired to make this long, but it was through a dating app (I was quite surprised), an American girl here whose attention was piqued by my profile. Super horny, enough to travel a couple hours to see me last night. She was fat, no beating around the bush, but she had huge boobs and a sexual appetite and was fun to talk to and sexually tease. Not a virgin, but I gave her her first three orgasms (and also broke my record for orgasms given in a night) thanks to my enjoyment of teasing and “assaulting” her with pleasure (credit to Nash and others for helping me make her pleasure something to stay aware of going in). Several hours talking, we played strip cards to open the mood, she stayed the night, and might see her again sometime. Once again I had an ego stroking of being “so good at sex” just because I had more thought than putting my dick in the girl. Go figure. It makes four experiences now though.

Recent Lessons Learned

I recognize that I seem to put girls in the box of assuming monogamous relationships with me, but I blamed it on girls jumping conclusions; after talking to Nash it’s apparent to me that the “relationship” feelings were my own fault. Attention is what I need to be more strict on meting out; not texting every day and holding tension, for instance, and not worrying that she’ll disappear if I fail to text on any given day. I don’t always have to reply, either.

Another pointer of Nash’s is that even in Japan, while walking around in most areas (excluding gyms or anywhere your job/visa is at risk), it’s fine to not worry about following the crowd by wearing a mask. It’s not a required item for going up and talk to girls who do have masks.

I was recently listening to a podcast by KYIL, “She’s out of my league”, and how just going up to a girl puts you at an advantage over many, many other guys just by the fact that you tried and asked her out. Then saw some Back to the Future 1 on TV while at the gym—the scene where Marty (the main character) encourages his dad (as a teenager) to ask his mom (as a teen) to a dance, where Marty’s dad is all worried about what to say and intimidated and such, and doesn’t think himself “worthy” of being with Marty’s mom… that reminded me of someone’s blog (I forget, but let me know in the comments) about how “beginners worry about what to say, experienced guys worry about their vibe”. But just as said on KYIL, Marty’s dad putting himself so “under” Marty’s mom and putting her on a pedestal definitely puts the odds against him, making it more likely he’d fail.

From that podcast, and the recent boost I have in vibe from these two recent notches, I need to make an active choice and plan to approach girls. In daily life. And also, intentionally. It’s hot in Japan, but heat or not, as it’s going to be hotter and hotter in the next decade or two anyway, so better to hit the streets while I’m young. And now I’ve got RPD helping me orient where I’m going, so I’m certainly going places from here on.