*How* Should I Know What to Text On Dating Apps? An Orientation to Start Your Own Text Framework for Beginners

“Text game” – What texts you choose to send to a girl to increase the odds she’ll show up on a date and potentially sleep with you, compared to other potential options to text (including not texting her at all).

Quick post here. This is intended not to give specific dating advice for a specific instance, but to give you, the reader, sufficient tools to help you help yourself.

The online dating scene is cutthroat, with the top few percent of guys taking the majority of female interest (naturally). You want to be in that top percent. One of the important things to adjust is your texting. (Note: This applies less for cold approach, because you presumably made a good impression on her already.) Also note: This assumes that you live in a city or near enough to one that is big enough to be viable for online dating. Aren’t sure if you are? Read Pancake’s old guide to swipe dating, which has some useful technical pieces, like size of city. Preferably, you live in a city with a 2:1 women to men ratio with the population of Tokyo and the size of Dubai, but since such a city doesn’t exist, you’ll have to get creative.

I lost my virginity roughly following Good Looking Loser’s guide to Lose Your Virginity last year (spring 2022). However, that was published in 2014, 8 and a half years ago, and is far out of date compared to what is actually viable today. The explanation for dating profiles worked back when online dating wasn’t competitive, but generally fails to hold up in modernity (it’s written for Plenty of Fish, which I tried in my area, only to find it had turned into OnlyBotsAndScammers). It has some decent points and some less-decent points. I would probably not bother looking through it unless you want another example of a text sequence to follow.

Kill Your Inner Loser’s author Andy wrote a ridiculously huge guide to getting laid on Tinder. It pointed me in the right direction to move forward, for how to improve myself and my dating profile in general. It’s great for almost everything… except the actual texts (and the bio to some degree).

His post about his current swipe dating profile, based around BDSM, also doesn’t have the most effective way of texting (even leading to my first simultaneous ban on both Hinge and Tinder simultaneously—one could surmise that saying “Hey __, you’re sexy […]” on a liberal college campus within a sexually conservative region of the U.S. wasn’t taken very well), though I admit it can function if you have a very polarizing profile like he does.

I should mention I do have massive respect for Andy, but it’s clear that texting isn’t one of his strong suits. He is excellent at getting mindset and pushing you to take action. If you’re looking for a coach who will push you to improve, he’s my first recommendation (though I do have others).

And there’s dozens of guys on, say, Youtube, with piecemeal text recommendations. I saw Karisma King, a guy I and some of my game-aware acquaintances respect for nightgame, recommend a channel called TextGod, who seems to be an interesting wildcard, but his videos are clickbaity and he doesn’t have the authority I see in my preferred texting recommendations (and most of the advice I’ve used from him thus far has flopped). I include him in case you really want to explore different options for inspiration below.

Obviously, I think none of the above works in today’s online dating market. The texts are too rigid, unoptimal for many cases, and don’t help you if you vary your text sequence or try to experiment (or the girl throws you a monkey wrench).

So, if none of the options above is optimal for texting, what will get you closer?

Rather than following an individual one:

1. Take both of Andy’s text sequences as a barebones base.
2. Then move it into a word editor of your choice. This is the start of your own text sequence master document.
3. Then, assuming you have a more polarizing bio (sexual/sensual–you’re reading this to get laid, right?), watch several of Playing with Fire‘s texting videos (for example, start here) and take note of the structure of each of his text sequences.
4. Use this to tweak your texting and incorporate all you learn into your master document. Where something Alex says overrides the basic framework you have so far, err on the side of PwF’s advice, but think critically about it.Try things, see where you’re weak, watch more Playing with Fire text videos (ignore most of the rest, which are more entertainment and less practical). Also consider adding in advice from other texting channels, if you have any in mind to try.
   • Or, if you are open to pay money, you can just buy PwF’s texting blueprint, which I must clarify I have not bought myself and can not (yet) verify.
5. You now have a working, functioning system for texting, piggybacking off some of the best texting there is in the cutthroat dating society of 2023 (with a bad flake rate to boot if you live in the U.S.).
6. Now that you have a method: experiment and develop the texting to include more of your own sense of humor, jokes, mannerisms, and so on. Don’t try more than a couple new things each time. Record what you do and how it goes in a log somewhere. Perhaps you’ll write a useful guide for other guys of your own, someday.

Or, if you’re lazy, you can skip that, try out various text sequences, send a lot of whack texts, bingewatch text advice videos without writing any of it down, try to use your intuition to know what to say, and turn off a lot of girls, like I’ve done in the past 6 months.

[Example of the above texting fail TBD]

Keep on rolling.