Fatal Mistake – Not Asking Logistics

Life gets busy sometimes. But it doesn’t justify bad game.

In the few times I’ve gone up to girls in the past few days, they’ve showed distinct signs of attraction, including strong eye contact or looking up frequently to see if I’m looking at her. So, lest my emotions tell me the old lie of “no one likes you” or “no girl would be interested”, I’ve got my physical appearance on point enough to get some distinct interest sometimes.

As mentioned in the title though, the critical part keeping things from happening is that I’m not making things happen. For example, I just finished a conversation with a cute brunette in a dining hall, gave myself a faux time limit to keep from staying there too long and creeping her out (which I have done several times up to now, thinking that finishing the meal takes precedence over the impression I make). She glanced my way a couple times as I had come by, and I knew it was probable signs of attraction (not even my current low esteem can deny that). After sitting down and answering the “do you do this often?” (meaning “do you hit on girls like this often?”) with a jokey line (“only the pretty ones”), I proceeded to fire away with hit-or-miss conversation.

By the end of the fake time limit, I got her low-probability “courtesy” number under the pretenses of drinks or coffee (and she said she’s too young for drinks), but I didn’t ask about her schedule for the next week, or ask when she was free, or ask what she was up to later today. It didn’t even occur to me that something could have a chance of happening if I went for it. I regretted it within 30 seconds of leaving the table to “go to class”.

So to summarize:

• My physique/fashion is good enough to function. I’ll keep hitting the gym.
• My conversation skills need work. She was focused on her ipad (presumably “for class”) and I should have at least asked her to put it down, to force me to practice bantering/flirting. I know intellectually all the things, but I often trail off or don’t know how/when to make a new conversation topic happen.
• Most critically, I need to start asking whether the girl is free later today or what her schedule looks like for the next week. Just taking that small step will allow me to get into the mindset of planning a date, and moreover open a new realm of potential growth for me to focus on.
• I need to sit down and have a genuine conversation with myself and make/let myself believe on more than an intellectual level that this is me. I can do this. Sex is more than a wet-dream fantasy.

Keep on rolling.