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Change is Slow – Yes You Can

You can’t *just* be a guy who plays video games, especially if you want to have a certainty in the modern-day dating market. Sure, video games as a part of your life is possible, but it can’t be the “one” thing that defines you.

As men, we feel our contributions to society, whether we like it or not; if our daily life isn’t bringing value to the world, if we are just passive consumers, it takes a toll on the mind and causes frustration—which then leads to change, or to (more often) escapism with further consumption. And that compounds in our self-worth when we’re looking for dating partners (actively or passively). If you want a different dating life, be different than the rest.

For most guys reading this, I’m preaching to the choir. But I hope this article reaches and inspires others.

The way I see it, I myself am struggling against Youtube/podcasts, sugar, video games, & difficulty with making plans and getting my butt out of the house. But this position is better than most my age, because I do hit the gym, talk to girls, and have semblance of a vision of where I’m heading career- and relationship-wise. Most guys I see are hooked and unaware, with porn, video games, politics, and others sucking up their time and making them ineffective.

Of course, just the fact that I’m starting young has its own difficulties & benefits. But my generation (I’m talking about guys in particular) is in a pit. We weren’t taught how to do things that were hard, not most of us. We’ve been given functional “lives” on platters, then when we turn all our energy to video games we wonder why life feels so empty. It quenches the thirst, without actually hydrating our need to create.

To my peers, and my juniors, don’t get frustrated. Change is slow. Change in your action is the result of time and effort building up to the turning point; it’s most important to avoid binging tons of “information” and taking time to reflect on what you’ve heard. Take 5 minutes after reading this to ponder the meaning in these words.

Taking time to consider lessons learned is not just a habit for practicing Christians and other religions; meditating on ideas tips the balance in favor of your actions changing in the future. Hold the hope. You won’t turn into a pickup artist a successful businessman, or a bodybuilder in a day. Not a week. A year is even a stretch. Think long term. 5 years, 10 perhaps. Don’t cap yourself by thinking “I need to become X in Y amount of time,” because it won’t happen… unless you can list out the minute details of getting there, or you get a coach to push your ass in the right direction. Even then, it’ll take time. But it can be done. And you can be the one to get there.

Keep on rolling,


Author: NightRoller

Learning, growing American learning to love on a deeper level. Find me at

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